When you’re planning your wedding, you should be able to pick and choose whatever colour scheme or aesthetic you’d like to follow, as long as your loved ones are happy to support and follow your decisions.
But on the other hand, if your rules mean a potential guest is going to have to drastically change their appearance, then you should be prepared for that person to refuse to attend.
That’s the exact predicament facing one bride on Reddit, who wants her sister to be one of her bridesmaids – but only if she ditches her “alternative” style and agrees to cover up her tattoos with body make-up, take out her nose ring, and dye her hair a natural colour instead of the pink she currently sports.
In her post, she said: “I’m getting married in early September and I’ve chosen my bridal party. One of my bridesmaids is my sister. My sister has a completely different style than me. She has light pink hair, a nose ring, multiple earrings and she’s also got sleeve tattoos on both of her arms and also her neck and chest.
“My sister’s appearance was something that always troubled me regarding her being a bridesmaid.
“I’ve set rules that apply to all bridesmaids, but some are specifically about my sister. I told her she’d have to buy body make-up and cover up the tattoos. I also told her to remove her nose ring and most of her earrings and only keep the normal earrings. And I told her to dye her hair a natural colour at least for the wedding festivities such as the bachelorette and the actual wedding.
“The bridesmaid’s dress really classes with my sister’s image and she’s going to look really out of place with all the tattoos, piercings and hair with that dress.”
However, the bride’s sister has insisted she won’t be changing her entire appearance just to appease her sister, and told her that if she keeps pushing it, she’ll simply skip the wedding altogether.
And the bride is now furious at her sibling, as she believes she should “make sacrifices” for her wedding in order to make her “happy”.
She added: “She told me she won’t do any of it and I tried to beg her to do it for me, her sister, and how happy it would make me. She told me that my happiness shouldn’t depend on making her change her style and be someone else to fit my aesthetic wedding.
“I told her that people make sacrifices for weddings and how many people might be uncomfortable or sad they have to follow certain rules but they still do it out of love and respect for the couple getting married. She said no, and that if I’m not okay with this she’ll drop out.
“I got very p***ed that she started holding it against me. I don’t want her to drop out but I wished for her to make this one-time thing for me work.”
Commenters on the Reddit post were largely on the sister’s side, as many questioned why the bride would want her sibling to be a bridesmaid if she wants her to change so much of herself first.
One person said: “Why ask her to be a bridesmaid if you’re going to insist she change so many things about herself? Why should she have to make a sacrifice for your wedding?”
While another added: “You knew what your sister’s style was like before you asked her to be a bridesmaid. Why ask in the first place if you care so much about her appearance? You can’t force her to change herself, nor should you.”
And a third wrote: “Inviting someone to be a bridesmaid is about being surrounded by people who are closest to you on your wedding day, not about creating the perfect photo op.
“Asking someone to wear a dress that isn’t their style is one thing, asking them to completely change their appearance, to include dying their hair for multiple events is another thing entirely.”